A couple weekends ago, Chris and I were holed up in a Truckee hotel for a night during one of his mountain bike races. He was in the bathroom tending to one of his “it’s cool, I think a butterfly bandage should hold it together” injuries (ew) while I distracted myself with Food Network in the bedroom. Because that’s what married people do in swanky euro-mod hotel rooms. First aid and cable.
Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives was on, of course (is it not always?), and exclamations like BANGARANG and BOOYAH and TAKE ME TO FLAVORTOWN were shooting out of the TV like Cyclop’s laser beams.
HOLY CLAM, BATMAN.*
GIVE THAT BAD BOY A TASTE.
And that’s when it hit me.
Blind people probably think Guy Fieri is a porn star.
Is that an OK thing to have people believe?
I don’t think so. I think not at all is that OK.
So, Public Service Announcement: Guy Fieri is the host of a food show. Tell your blind friends.
In case you were wondering, I’m in 100% denial that summer is anywhere near over. I’m getting watermelons on the weekly from my CSA, tomatoes are going harder than hard and the evening air is still thick with the unmistakable aroma of white-hot coals. My afternoon Scandal break continues to be punctuated by the creepy jingle of ice cream
truck van. (When did that happen?) And the interwebs are full of froyos and ice teas and pretty marbled drinks with pineapple garnishes.
So yeah. Far as I’m concerned, summer is still here. Still a thing. And still inspiring super easy stuffs like these fruity ice pops, which you should most definitely put on your agenda if you feel like having a Mexican vacation happen in your mouth, because that’s amazing. Also amazing: these are pretty much every allergen-free — unless of course you’re allergic to watermelon, in which case these most definitely contain death and I’m so sad for you.
But yeah. No animal stuffs. No grainy stuffs. And instead of plain ol’ white shoogs, we’ve enhanced these guys with some real, earthy, ever-so-smoky maple syrup. A sticky point (bazinga), I realize, since some people who avoid the sucrose in refined sugar put maple syrup in the same camp, but forgive me this one sin…
They’re also pleasantly spiced without being blatantly spicy, so they’re kinda perfect for those moments when you’re jonesing for something sweet — or is it savory? Both thangs right hurr, friend. Yer welcome.
I like mine topped with an extra squeeze of lime and a sprinkle of chile-salt like that Tajin stuff I fell in love with in Puerto Vallarta, but without those accoutrements, these are still suckin-on-summer-for-all-its-worth stellar.
* Actual quote. But really, THERE’S NO GUY FIERI IN PORN.
- 1 personal watermelon, cut into rough chunks
- ¼ cup real maple syrup
- juice of 2 limes (about ¼ cup)
- 1 T chili powder
- generous pinch sea salt
- extra lime juice (optional)
- extra chili powder or chile salt, such as Tajin seasoning (optional)
- Combine watermelon, maple syrup, chili powder, lime juice and salt in blender. Whirl until liquified. Pour into popsicle mold(s) of your choosing. Freeze for about 1 - 1.5 hours, then insert sticks. Continue freezing until firm, about 5 hours or overnight. Dip mold into warm water for several seconds to loosen pops.
- Enjoy immediately (optionally) sprinkled with an extra squeeze of lime and a dash of chili powder or chile salt -- or, if you'd like to store pops out of their mold, transfer released pops to a large zip-top freezer bag, separating the layers with parchment.
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These look delicious! I was going to make some tamarindo-lime-chile paletas this weekend, but I think I’ll give these a try. Thanks for the recipe.
No prob, friend! Hope you like ’em 🙂 And the tamarind version sounds amazing, too! You’ll have to ping me if/when you post that recipe. Thanks!
These look delicious! And I’m cracking up over your Guy Fieri assessment. So true!!
Phew, the silence that follows a blog post calling out prominent cable celebs as pornstars (or something like that) is always a bit unsettling. Thanks for breaking it up, Liz!! 🙂
Wow!!! These look delicious! Love the pics and I also love love love how you did the animation piece 🙂 Great post! http://thespoonandapron.com/
Thanks Concetta! It’s gettin’ real fancy ’round these parts, ha. 🙂
I am all about these! Somehow we can combine our powers to stop summer from ever being over, right?? Your allergy comment reminded me of someone I distantly know that is allergic to pineapple! Once we were invited to a luau where this person was invited and there wasn’t a pineapple in sight which seemed so weird….and she never showed up. Unbelievable.
A Guy Fieri porn would truly be something I would poke my eyeballs out over. I’d rather be blind than be a witness to that, but thanks for putting the imagery in my head. 🙂 These paletas on the other hand I want and plan on making!
Don’t go giving Guy Fieri any ideas… Okay, fine, do. Those frosted tips… Although I think this was my favorite line: “in which case these most definitely contain death and I’m so sad for you.” Ha!
The thought of Guy Fieri as porn star is terrifying and I’m already contemplating gauging my eyes out. Like no thank you goodbye! This post is so so hilarious though, I’m literally wiping away tears from laughing at the accuracy. (DD&D [can I abreviate it as that?] is ALWAYS on.)
These paletas though…. that’s what’s up. I’m with you, I’m in denial about summer ending. (I say as I eat a bowl of watermelon.)
Graham, please don’t gouge your eyes out! That was not at all my intent, and then you won’t be able to bake us lusty treats or long after age-appropriate popstars! (Rather, you’d have to claim you only like their music! Althoughforreal, I seriously do like their music…) Let’s just stick to shoveling melons into our faces out of season and call it a day. Dealio? Dealio. <3
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Learn to gram out a recipe like an actual chef otherwise don’t give people recipes!