Did I mention I’ve been hoarding pumpkin like it’s the apocalypse? Or maybe Armageddon? If it is Armageddon, I really hope Chris knows to do the whole animal-cookies-on-the-tummy act before we become fiery stardust. I’d be so smitten.

Anyway, I’ve been hoarding pumpkin. Like, I maybe made a small scale model of Hearst Castle out of pumpkin cans in my living room. I might be sitting in said castle right this minute, wondering exactly what I can use to duplicate the gold leaf in the swimming pool. The swimming pool may or may not be a Pyrex baking dish. The Hearsts were really more into wading, anyway.

Where was I? Yes, hoarding. But even when you’ve got a habit like mine, you find yourself with a stray cup of pumpkin here and there. Maybe you’ve just made a wicked pot of pumpkin polenta and you’ve got half a can’s worth sitting in the fridge, daring you to make the world’s smallest pie.

Fortunately, this quick dip isn’t all that far off. And it’s embarrassingly easy, you guys. Like, three (ok, four) ingredients, one pan, maaaaaaaybe 10 mins. With fresh apples or salty pretzel sticks or little fondue-style cubes of cheesecake, it’s undeniably delicious. People will ask you if you scooped out a pie. They will ask you for the recipe. They will tell you they can’t stay away even if they’re “not a pumpkin person.” (I know, and yes, I find it very hard to believe.)

And you. Well, you will beam with pride. You’ll replenish the pretzel dish with a smug little grin knowing you’ve got the “it” dish of the season — and the Hearst’s swimming pool to go with it. Sure you’ve got pumpkin, but Armageddon, it turns out, can kiss your ass. These are the glory days. This is Pumpkin Spice Dip.

(The Simplest) Pumpkin Spice Dip
By Emily Stoffel
Cook time: 10 mins | Makes about 2 cups

Ingredients:

• half of one 29 oz can pumpkin (about 1.5 cups)
• 1 cup white chocolate chips
• 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
• dash sea salt

Instructions

Combine pumpkin and white chocolate in a medium saucepan and stir over medium heat until chocolate is completely melted and integrated, about 5-7 minutes. Add cinnamon and salt. Serve warm, cold or room temperature with fruit, pretzels, cheesecake cubes, marshmallows, alongside a cheese platter, over cream cheese — you get it. Stores well in the refrigerator for several days.