Spicy Soyrizo & Black Bean Empanadas (aka Hand Pies!)

There’s been some major crankypants happening in the pigpen lately. Maybe it has something to do with the post-vacation blues (kind of a real thing) or the post-vacation head-turned-chest cold (definitely a real thing), but I have been whhhhhyyyyyy-KNEE. Things like emptying bags of Trader Joe’s brand Funyuns into my face seem to be helping marginally, although I refuse to call them by their given name, Snack-O’s, which has got to be the most generic name for a generic snack food I have ever heard. If it weren’t that the snack is actually O-shaped, the lameness of this name might be enough to prevent me from buying them alltogether. I mean, helloooo, Fun-yOHs! OnYUMs! YUMyuns! Did none of these far more obvious yet superiorly radder names cross Hipster JoBro’s mind when ripping off the Funyun? I guess not. And now, even though I was originally just detouring through this whole tangent until I could find something valuable to talk about while you looked at pictures of hand pies, I’m actually kind of worked up about it. Kind of seriously worked up about it, actually. Totally, seriously, actually worked up about it, to tell you the truth. There’s very little escaping this thread … Read More

Spinach & Quinoa Cake with Curried Avocado Cream (gluten-free)

We have friends in town this weekend. And you know what friends in town means. Swiffering the hair off the bathroom floor. And also: brunch! Now that we’ve awkwardly linked hair and food and I’ve lost a good number of readers, let’s the rest of us delve a little more into the brunch thing. From my (clearly very chaotic) point of view, brunch is the king of mealtimes for a numbers of reasons. A) It’s a hybrid word. Maybe the first ever. In fact, yes, I’m pretty sure linguistic anthropologists would tell you that back in the day, like when dudes-with-beards-and-leather-sandals-were-cool-Round-One, the hippest of bearded dudes woke up a little late one morn and slurred his hungry ass right into brunch. And then decided to make it a thing, which is totally warranted. Because it’s the Brangelina of meals. And just try to compete with that. 2) It’s the only meal of the day when pretty much everything is fair game. Sweet and savory on one table and eggs all around. Syrup on salty and salty on sweet. Fancy flutes of booze. And, if you live in California, the near guarantee of avocados. Schwing. We’ve done pan-fried quinoa cakes a … Read More

Smoky Roasted Brussel Sprouts with Lemon & Parm

I gotta tell ya, I was really feeling like starting this post off with an overused acronym like OMG or TGIF and then stopped myself. Because ICBMO (I can be more original), right? But really, that’s how I’m feeling — short on words and big on bursts of emotion because oh my goodness it IS Friday and I AM thanking God. I’m so ready to snap on my skis and hit up some mediocre pow this weekend that it’s not even funny. Gnar to the extreme. Rip, shred, dude-bro, it’s gonna be epic. Wow, can you imagine if I spoke like that all the time? I’d punch myself in the face or step on a rake before consciously submitting to it. So, ya know, if it ever happens, I’ve definitely been brainwashed by a gang of goggle-tanned d-bags. Speaking of d-bags: b-sprouts. How’s that for a segue? Roasted until crisp, golden and nutty and then tossed with aromatic lemon zest and even more nuttiness: parm. If you feel like there’s been a pattern with lemons and parm lately, you’re right. We’ve got lots of both, and they’re just so darn good together. So again: don’t think you like BS? I … Read More