Brown Sugar Blueberry Pie Shakes

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This past weekend was full of firsts. My first real vacay away from the babe. My first show at Red Rocks. My first exposure to Dr. Pimple Popper. (I can get into a lot of bizarre shit, but I just can’t do it, you guys.) The four days I spent in Denver were so very indulgent. Leisurely breakfasts in with old friends. Leisurely breakfasts out with new friends. Pedicures. Sour beers. Reclining movie theater seats. Wait — backtrack. MOVIES IN A MOVIE THEATER?? BE STILL MY HEART. ♥ Daily hair washing. Rootbeer milk. Driving stick shift. Caffeine. Is this real life? I kept asking myself. Nay, this how the childless live, a little voice answered. Oh. Huh. I had completely forgotten. These pie shakes — PIE SHAKES!!! — are a continuation of this weekend’s indulgence. They won’t win any clean eating awards, but in the name of living a little, I’m gonna ask you to just roll with it. Summery blueberries. Nutty brown sugar. Real ice cream. A one-two punch of almond butter and shortbread cookies that, together, simulate the richness of pie crust. I’m not going to try much harder than that to sell you on these things, because when it comes down … Read More

Gazpacho Andaluz with Smoked Paprika-Glazed Almonds

pacho Andaluz with Smoked Paprika-Glazed Almonds recipe (via thepigandquill.com) #vegetarian #dairyfree #vegan #soup #summer

Note: Before you lose interest amidst all my BS, let me get straight to the punchline: share a fruit or veggie selfie using the #DrinkGoodDoGood hashtag on social media, and Naked Juice will donate 10 lbs of produce to communities in need. It’s so easy, you guys. And you love selfies. YOU LOVE THEM. K, back at it… Clean undies. Bubbly water. Freedom. Oh hi there. Today we’re listing things I take for granted. How about: fresh produce? Seriously. While I’ve been known to snobbishly scoff at Trader Joe’s overpackaged stone fruit or dimpled avocados, the truth is, for most folks living the lifestyle that many assume of Silicon Valley residents, fresh, seasonal and — more often than not — locally grown and organic fruits and veggies are pretty easy to come by. Within just a mile or so of my house, there’s a weekend farmer’s market, a Trader Joe’s, an upscale specialty market with a highly Instagrammable produce section and a Whole Foods. Tack on another mile and there are two more farmer’s markets, a handful of year-round produce stands and even more gourmet food stores than I can count. If you want to be that girl with a baguette … Read More

Double PB&J S’mores (w/ Homemade Graham Crackers!)

Double PB+J S'mores recipe with Homemade Graham Crackers (via thepigandquill.com) #sweets #dessert #baking #summer

Haii gaiiz! It’s National S’mores Day. Can you even freaking believe it? There’s a day for FUGGING EVERYYYTHANG. It’s also National Watch All the Gymnastics Day, National Your Kid Only Napped 40 Minutes Day and National Company is Coming Time to Swiffer the Hair in the Bathroom Day. Ok, I made that last one up. But I’m still celebrating, because I’m one classy-ass hostess. You’re welcome, playdates. But back to National S’mores Day. Let’s do it up proper, k? I kinda wanted to say “prah-puhh” all British-like, but I didn’t know if you would get it. Do Brits like s’mores? They’d be right prah-puhh with a spot o’ tea, so probably yeah. Yeh. Yehhhhh. I’m still doing the accent. You knew that. Ok. I promise this time. S’mores. Yehhhhhhhhh. Ok. A few weeks ago, I saw Christina making homemade graham crackers on snapchat, and my mind did a mini-splode. If you know me at all, you know I don’t bake for shit, but when I checked out the recipe, they seemed really, surprisingly simple — and I loved that she made them naturally sweetened so they’d be a (somewhat) guiltless treat for a teething babe. So later that week, I whipped up … Read More

Chile-Lime Coconut Mango Pops

Chile-Lime Mango Coconut Pops recipe (via thepigandquill.com) #vegan #dairyfree

Hey guys! Little known fact: I am only capable of starting posts with hey guyssss. They are literally the first two words that pop out every time I open a new draft. And then, like, 64% of the time I come back to the top and force a new opener. Or just add a bunch of sssssssss’s. Or swap in a super original spelling of hey. I’m kinda digging haaaaaaiii but sometimes heyyo slips out, too. Hihihi! Hehwoooooooh. Heyeyeyeye. Hajjjjaieyeewwww. I’m drinking $4 wine. Hey guysssssss. Anyway, these popsicles are so super simple that they leave me with almost nothing to drone on about — it’s hot. they’re cold. but also hot. because spicy. but not too spicy, because you add it after. or you don’t have to add it at all. i’m drinking $4 wine — so I’m just going to talk about a few thangalangs and you can chime in. Like. Stranger Things. STRANGER THINGS! That score, that 80’s typography. That little Dustin guy! Are you watching? I’m going to Denver! We’ve got three days and very few plans so gimme all the places to eat and drink beers and stand up on a paddleboard and buy hipster things and … Read More

Overnight Miso-Braised Sausage + Chard Lasagne

Overnight Miso-Braised Sausage + Chard Lasagne recipe (via thepigandquill.com) Possibly the simplest and tastiest lasagne yet! #dinner #cheese #eggfree

When I was 12 years old, I had a fever-induced dream that I was walking through a canyon of lasagne, towers of noodles and jarred red sauce closing in on me from all sides while I scrambled to pick up brittle twigs of dry angel hair pasta before they crumbled between my fingers. I knew that, somehow, collecting up the angel hair was my way out, but it was an impossible task, multiplying before my eyes. I awoke in a cold sweat, crying, and tugged on my (then) step-sister’s arm. “Tiffany, I had a bad dream. About lasagne.” She took it about as seriously as you can imagine. It should come as no surprise, then, that lasagne wasn’t really my thing growing up. Somewhere between the feverish dream, pasty pans of frozen Stouffer’s and many a prime time commercial convincing me that the dreaded lasagne pan was the only thing standing between me and domestic supremacy, it just didn’t hold much appeal. But I’ve grown up a bit. So when method challenged me to cook up the dish of my dreams (heh) as part of their #fearnomess campaign, I figured I’d show that nineties kid in me there’s nothing to be scared of. … Read More

Summer Whipped Ricotta Toast Two Ways

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I’ve been debating getting into this for a few weeks now, and the last thing I want to do is detract from such a pretty post with an undeniably ugly topic, but you guys. The Bachelorette.  WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING. I won’t give any radical spoilers because I totally get that in a Hulu World not everyone has seen it, but why she’s not just going full Kaitlyn rogue and humping Luke in a barn somewhere is beyond me. And do we really need to get into it over Robby’s hair? I know it’s completely unfair to just personally attack these people, that they’re real people with real feelings, but I’m a real person with real opinions and I’ma tell you that boy needs some mussin’ up. As in, someone stole a tub of Garnier pomade from my gym locker in 1998 (I HAD UNRULY BANGS) and I am now 419% certain it was Swimmer Bod. But really. Get those bowed legs wrapped around ya and call it a season, girl. If for no other reason than Christina and I can have late-night snapchat (username: @thepigandquill) conversations about something else, like the weather. Or how it would make my life if she moved back to … Read More

Hoisin-Grilled Eggplant + Avocado Bánh Mì

Hoisin-Grilled Eggplant + Avocado Bánh Mì (via thepigandquill.com) #vegetarian

First off, a moment of gratitude for your unwavering acceptance of my unconventional post yesterday. In a world that keeps insisting it’s reached its quota of hope, you make me happy to be human. Ok, on with the show. I’m just going to start this off by saying how disappointed I am that the eggplant emoji has taken the dirtiest of turns. Seriously, all I wanted to do the whole time I was teasing this post on social media was string together about a billion heart and hearty-eye emojis with the eggplant emoji, backwards and forwards and backwards again. But I can’t do that, now can I? Not without the whole world thinking I’m in love with getting diddled every which way. So thanks, wang lovers, for mucking that up for me. What a bag of dix. get it? Let’s talk about this bánh mì. It’s simple. It’s summery. Salty and sweet. Crunchy and creamy. Warm and cool. A veritable juxtaposition of all the typical food adjectives that are, uh, juxtaposable. And the eggplant. The Eggplant. I know there are some of you out there who have completely written off eggplant as a bland, or maybe even itchy (more on that here), … Read More

Pigtales 04: Taking a Minute

This post is going to seem out of left field, but it’s one of those things, like plucking a mole hair, that just needs to happen. And it’s about as glamorous. Meaning, no photos of food today. No babes. Just this. Words. And I’ll keep them few. I applaud transparency in blogging. In fact, it’s what keeps me coming back to my favorite spaces over and over again. If you’re feeling vulnerable, I want to know about it. Shit is getting heavy? Let me virtually shoulder that burden. Shedding salty tears over your fifth batch of gluten-free doorstops? I’ve been there. And I am no stranger to being real on the internet. I fully embrace the overshare, and I truly consider the self that I put forth online to be the same self you would encounter if I was standing in line behind you at Target. That girl eyeing your Cheez-Its with a look of both horror and envy? That’s me. But when it comes to topical content, I blog in a big, glossy bubble. So today, I’m just going to take a minute to put forth some hard truths that have been pinging around in my head lately. Truths like: … Read More

mexican chocolate crème brûlèe (vegan)

mexican chocolate crème brûlèe recipe from @thepigandquill (via thepigandquill.com) #vegan #dairyfree #dessert #tofu

Hi guys! Hope all you ‘Mericans out there had a crackin’ holiday weekend. We took Miss Bug up to the lake for the first time and it was one of the most joyful weekends I can recount. Just a small group of good friends (we even flew the Ohio bestie out!), big dinners at home, plenty of time taking in Tahoe’s sweet sugar-pine air — running, hiking, biking, beaching — and even a few tan lines to show for it. Somehow, I’m always caught off guard by the Hot As Shit sand and the Cold As Shit water in Tahoe, but when you layer the two together, it makes for a pretty comfy little scene. We nerded out and popped up one of these guys and it was such a luxury — if only because it helped define a good chunk of real estate given the particularly sardine-y situation that is pretty much Any Beach USA on the Fourth of July. This was a bit of a defining trip for us because it was the first time Chris and I were in South Lake Tahoe together since our pre-wedding weekend (some would call it a joint bachelor/bachelorette party, but how douchey does that sound?) … Read More

#pinkdrink popsicles for #popsicleweek // strawberry + green tea + coconut milk + white chocolate

#PinkDrink Popsicles for #popsicleweek! // strawberry + green tea + coconut milk + white chocolate (via thepigandquill.com)

A reader once suggested that the journey to motherhood is akin to walking a labyrinth: a challenging 9-month route to the center, over the course of which that sweet babe grows in your belly, and an equally (if not more) challenging 9 month navigation back to the edge, or maybe more aptly the surface, where you can once again gulp the sweet air of independence and re-assimilate into the society you slowly retreated from, now a full 18 months later. But the thing is, at 18 months (or rather, 9 months out), I still wasn’t quite there. The air still seemed a little thin. Most mornings were clouded yet by a film of anxiety over what the day might bring. That distinct meness I craved with such fervor was still only just out of reach, tickling my fingertips — ghostly wisps of my former self waiting to be reabsorbed back into my modified being. And I let it linger there, in the ether, taking immense comfort in its proximity and romanticising the day when we’d be one again. Lana turned 14 months yesterday, and I can tell you: I think I’m finally there. Whole and happy and me. And not just me as in the new me, the mom me that … Read More